Randy Winn led off with a home run. We're done here.

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• 19:12 Watching @philbronstein moderate dist 3 debate. crowd pandering isn't always bad! #
• 19:18 First cutoff at 6 min in. #
• 19:28 twitpic.com/8fk9 - @brochtrup wilma pang (pls doubleck spelling) #
• 19:32 Lynn jefferson "I'm not part of any family dynasty, I'm not endorsed by any unions...sorry, joe." (Alioto, another candidate.) #
• 19:37 twitpic.com/8flh - New to the ballot earl tibido (sp?), a true eccentric. Not following his intro, I must admit. #
• 19:38 There's no one I'd rather have carlos mencia me than @philbronstein #
• 19:42 First question to wilma - how will you bring shoppers/biz back to. NB? Corridor mgrs, tax incentives, fix mta, fix sidewalks, more flex ... #
• 19:45 Joe supports chain ban, rebuild pagoda theater. #
• 19:46 Q2 to joe- subway extension, yea or nay? Joe sez yay #
• 19:49 Earl opposes because he says central subway makes NB seismicalluy unsound! I am digging earl. #
• 19:52 Q3 city bidding process for library art doesn't favor artists in communities whatchu gonna do? #
• 19:53 Shockingly, all candidates agree that this is wrong! #
• 19:56 Q3 how will you end blight of empty storefronts? #
• 19:56 Did I mention that the first 4 qs were written by theNB biz assc? #
• 19:58 Ctown based cand says that NB's biz is a concern for her tho she's pro c-town, nb ctown should be friends! #
• 19:59 Everyone says streamline small biz process. Well, dang. Problem solved! #

Hey! LoudTwitter did all the work. Neat!

It's green and pretty outside but looks like rain again any moment!

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I committed a hangin' offense today at work -- I came back from vacation without treats for the office.  (I'm the one who tells the new hires about the treats rule, so color me embarrassed).  There was a good excuse, though. I wanted to get Boston Baked Beans candy for them all (like jaypo got for us all in Boston -- yay!), and was going to pick them up at the airport, but when I got through the security, there was no little mall or concourse or even damn souvenir shop on the other side, you turned a corner and there was one crummy little waiting room for Air Canada flights, and nothing else.  Like the dead end in the mouse maze.  I came home treatless, except for the last pack of Cap'n Crook's Smarties.

So I went in to work today and fessed up on e-mail.  But promised them "Boston-themed treats" tomorrow.  I dashed out to the nearest specialty candy store and they had one, count 'em, ONE little box of Boston Baked Beans, but I had my plan.

Not the blood of children - this time

Red velvet cupcakes! 

Okay, maybe a little

Boston-themed, because Mariser and Lord Kalvan brought me all those cake mixes to Boston from the red state.  And I had just enough candy in the one little box to garnish them.

Ta da

Yay!  The office is saved!  Or perhaps, my ass is.  BTW, people in the office were asking, "how was that thing you did in Boston?", and were genuinely amazed when I said how well it went meeting the peeps.  (Okay, I didn't say "peeps" to them.)  They said, "how brave" and "how adventurous" it was to go and meet a bunch of people I only knew off the internet, but you know what?  It wasn't.  From start to finish, everything about it seemed just fine and natural.  I guess they're thinking of a different internet than mine. 

Some time after Scotch and I got engaged, we were chillin' together somewhere and discussing the many improbable triumphs our relationship has seen. We marvelled at just how much fucking FUN we have together, and how happy and comfortable we are together. We boasted to ourselves about how, even during tough times, our enjoyment of and love for each other comes so easily. We began to feel like maybe we were cheating or something. Relationships aren't supposed to be this much fun, right? All you ever hear about is how much work they are. Now, don't get me wrong... we have to work at ours too. We've worked a tremendous amount on it. But, it's that kind of work that you love, partially because it's fun work, and partially because you know the payoff is huge. Anyway, as we got further in to our engagement and closer to our wedding day, we started to wonder if some authority figure was going to intervene and come up with some reason we wouldn't be allowed to be together.

"I'm sorry, folks, but the Department of Health has determined that you two simply don't detest each other enough to be a married couple. You're going to have to find more suitable mates."

We frequently joked about how there was no way we were going to get away with locking in eternal happiness. Why should we be so lucky? We imagined guys in black suits with dark glasses and earpieces suddenly grabbing one of us and throwing them in a van, never to be seen or heard from again.

The prophecy almost came true when, on their way to the ceremony, Nadia (the Maid of Honor) and Scotch were pulled over by the most unforgiving police officer in Hawaii and detained for a long time, while being berated for a variety of offenses, including crying over being late for one's own wedding. Meanwhile, my Best Man and I raced across the island to make up time lost to a faulty alarm clock. Storm clouds literally opened up a deluge of rain as we picked up the Most Awesome Flower Girl Ever on our way.

We all made it, of course. The weather cleared up and it was, honestly and without exaggeration, the most beautiful and amazing day I've ever seen. We said our vows (in Hawaiian and English), exchanged leis, exchanged rings, kissed, and sealed the deal. We made it, and nobody can fuck with that now.

Shortly after the ceremony, Scotch reminded me to check out the inside of my ring. I excitedly removed it, squinted, and read the most perfect and clever inscription:

Cripes. When I posted the most recent Beloit College Mindset list, I did the search wrong. Here's the right one:

One of my mentors sent this link out today. The Beloit College Mindset List captures a sense of the divide between incoming college freshpeople and the folks who probably teach them by listing a sampling of the [pop] culture referents for the newbies to the higher academic scene. Thought some of you Voxers might get a kick out of it:

1. Most students entering college this fall were born in 1986.
2. Desi Arnaz, Orson Welles, Roy Orbison, Ted Bundy, Ayatollah Khomeini and Cary Grant have always been dead.
3. "Here's Johnny!" is a scary greeting from Jack Nicholson, not a warm welcome from Ed McMahon.
4. The Energizer bunny has always been going, and going, and going.
5. Large fine-print ads for prescription drugs have always appeared in magazines.
6. Photographs have always been processed in an hour or less.
7. They never got a chance to drink 7-Up Gold, Crystal Pepsi, or Apple Slice.
8. Baby Jessica could be a classmate.
9. Parents may have been reading The Bourne Supremacy or It as they rocked them in their cradles.
10. Alan Greenspan has always been setting the nation's financial direction.
11. The U.S. has always been a Prozac nation.
12. They have always enjoyed the comfort of pleather.
13. Harry has always known Sally.
14. They never saw Roseanne Rosannadanna live on Saturday Night Live.
15. There has always been a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
16. They never ate a McSub at McD's.
17. There has always been a Comedy Channel.
18. Bill and Ted have always been on an excellent adventure.
19. They were never tempted by smokeless cigarettes.
20. Robert Downey, Jr. has always been in trouble.
21. Martha Stewart has always been cooking up something with someone.
22. They have always been comfortable with gay characters on television.
23. Mike Tyson has always been a contender.
24. The government has always been proposing we go to Mars, and it has always been deemed too expensive.
25. There have never been any Playboy Clubs.
26. There have always been night games at Wrigley Field.
27. Rogaine has always been available for the follicularly challenged.
28. They never saw USA Today or the Christian Science Monitor as a TV news program.
29. Computers have always suffered from viruses.
30. We have always been mapping the human genome.
31. Politicians have always used rock music for theme songs.
32. Network television has always struggled to keep up with cable.
33. O'Hare has always been the most delay-plagued airport in the U.S.
34. Ivan Boesky has never sold stock.
35. Toll-free 800 phone numbers have always spelled out catchy phrases.
36. Bethlehem has never been a place of peace at Christmas.
37. Episcopal women bishops have always threatened the foundation of the Anglican Church.
38. Svelte Oprah has always dominated afternoon television; who was Phil Donahue anyway?
39. They never flew on People Express.
40. AZT has always been used to treat AIDS.
41. The international community has always been installing or removing the leader of Haiti.
42. Oliver North has always been a talk show host and news commentator.
43. They have suffered through airport security systems since they were in strollers.
44. They have done most of their search for the right college online.
45. Aspirin has always been used to reduce the risk of a heart attack.
46. They were spared the TV ads for Zamfir and his panpipes.
47. Castro has always been an aging politician in a suit.
48. There have always been non-stop flights around the world without refueling.
49. Cher hasn't aged a day.
50. M.A.S.H. was a game: Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House.

Your result for Zombie, Zombie Food, or Zombie Survivor Test ...

The Survivor

You are a warrior, a survivor.

I heart Kitty.

Your result for The Personality Defect Test ...

Hand-Raiser

You are 57% Rational, 86% Extroverted, 29% Brutal, and 43% Arrogant.

You are the Hand-Raiser, that annoying kid in class who always had an answer for everything. No doubt, as a child you probably sat in the front of the class, anxiously waving your hand back and forth in the air while your teacher desperately tried to avoid calling on you because you were the ONLY fucking kid that answered her questions. Clearly, the key traits of your personality are your rationality and your extroversion. You are like a little talkative calculator, in other words. You also tend to be rather gentle and less arrogant than most people. Your presence is a bane to everyone's existence, because you are too nice for your own good and you absolutely will not shut up. So what is your defect, then? Well, you're boring, and when you're not boring, you are just plain annoying with your ultra-logical responses and constant need to talk to others. So keep waving that hand in the air, son. I'm still not calling on you. You are too logical, you talk too much, and your humility and gentleness only makes me hate you more, because they make me feel like I almost SHOULDN'T hate you. But I do. Big time. And by the way, the more you wave your hand in class--your extended hand becoming nothing more than a blur as you insanely wave it, thinking we can't see it--the more smug satisfaction the teacher takes in watching the look of excrutiating pain cross your face as you agonize over not being called on, and the longer we'll wait to call on you, just because we absolutely love torturing you so.

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.

2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.

3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.

4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.

Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Brute.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Braggart, the Haughty Intellectual, and the Robot.

*

*

If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.

The other personality types:

The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

Be sure to take my Sublime Philosophical Crap Test if you are interested in taking a slightly more intellectual test that has just as many insane ramblings as this one does!

About Saint_Gasoline

I am a self-proclaimed pseudo-intellectual who loves dashes. I enjoy science, philosophy, and fart jokes and water balloons, not necessarily in that order. I spend 95% of my time online, and the other 5% of my time in the bathroom, longing to get back on the computer. If, God forbid, you somehow find me amusing instead of crass and annoying, be sure to check out my blog and my webcomic at SaintGasoline.com.